My Bro Gets Out There

My brother made me laugh again the other day. He’s decided that he will leave his solitary existence and is embarking on a dating plan in an effort to move toward a partnered life full of love, sharing and companionship.
Not wishing to be sat around pondering his first real date in years, he decided to arrive at the agreed location, Market Market in Fort Bonifacio, Metro Manila, in plenty of time and explore the location in the hour or so prior to the arrival of the lucky female.

Forty five minutes before the scheduled meet my brother received a message from his selected sweetie requesting, due to unforseen circumstances, the meet time be pushed out two hours. He sent an amicable reply and extended his exploration time by two hours taking in a bookshop and the purchase of reading material to pass the time. Twenty minutes before the rescheduled meet time he received a message from his selected sweetie to indicate she was ‘on her way’ but the traffic was bad. An understanding and patient message was returned informing her that he would meet her in their arranged location when she arrived, no worries. Twenty minutes after the new meet time another message arrived from his selected but slightly less sweetie in his newly established view asking him to meet her in a new location a short walk away. It was raining heavily. His reply was still amicable and co-operative but he asked, jokingly, if she had a towel. I think he said her reply was no, but she had a tissue!
Expecting her to be waiting at the new location he reported to me that he looked excitedly around the interior on the ground floor and then the first floor even walking around some tables so that he could get a full visual on occupants. There was no positive id! Outside tables were checked – still no positive id! He said he began to feel something of a mug at this stage. However, almost as if she could see him, another message arrived on his mobile at this point. ‘Only joking!’ it read, ‘I will be at Chelsea’. When he relayed this to me he swore at this point but after weighing the pro’s and con’s he chose to remain friendly and replied in a rather non commital manner ‘am I being filmed?’.
I have to say at this point I probably would not have replied and sought alternative entertainment for the evening. To say that we think alike is not a great untruth. My brother decided to find the nearest bar, relax and wait. I can imagine what pleasure the beers brought.

After a short while the messages re-commenced. He said they ran along the lines of…’the taxi is lost’, ‘ I am at postcode xxxx’, ‘ I am in Fort Bonifacio high street’, ‘where are you?’ – which was the first message he replied to in over forty five minutes. Three hours and twenty minutes after their original meet time and after two location changes she made it to the date…
My brother could not believe how un-concerned she was. A half hearted apology was slipped in to initial exchanges but it was completely unfelt and she exhibited zero humility. She apparently replied ‘a Margerita’ to his offer to place her drink order. I began to feel sorry for my brother as he continued to relay the remainder of the episode to me. She picked up a food menu and ordered her own food without enquiring if my brother was eating or had ate. Her food was a salad and apparently another Margerita was requested.

My brother reportedly spoke harshly to her when she reprimanded him for not understanding her work content correctly. Ha ha ha… Well done bro!
To top this, my poor brother was cajoled into walking the wet Bonifacio streets with her stumbling on his arm because she had become almost legless on two Margerita’s. She would not take a taxi and insisted on being told a story, whilst she allegedly attempted to sober up. On a tour of one car park, a location chosen so that my brother could pee I think, she threw up!!
After a bottle of water from a San Fran Coffee Shop she apparently consented to a taxi journey. The taxi was left clean but before the door to my brothers apartment could be opened she was vomiting again at the entrance. My poor brother became nurse maid for a night. He is apparently reviewing his selection criteria as I am writing this. Bro – looks aren’t everything!!!